On September 25, 2008 when I was 36 weeks 3 days pregnant our beautiful babies made their debut. Jason Lane was born at 12:03 pm weighing in at 7 pounds 3 ounces and 18.5 inches long. Connor Joseph was born at 12:05 pm weighing in at 5 pounds 12 ounces and 18 inches long. We were so happy! They both came out screaming and had great APGAR scores! After a while they took us all back to our room. We had many visitors and things were going great....at first. This is where it gets very hard and I get emotional just thinking back to this time. What was supposed to be one of the happiest times of our lives turned out to be one of the most difficult times instead.
The good news was that Jason appeared to be okay. They would still have to do the ultrasound of his head, but he was alive and did not appear to have any markers for any of the genetics disorders they had warned us about.
The bad news was actually about Connor. Here we had spent all this time worrying about Jason and knowing that Connor would be just fine. Little did we know that he would have so much trouble breathing. He kept making these little squeaking sounds that we thought sounded cute, but when the nurse heard him she didn't like the way he sounded so she took him to the nursery. I only just met him, how could she be taking him away from me? They did some xrays and said he looked good, so they brought him back to us. What a relief! Or so I thought... not too long after he was back he started acting funny again so we called the nurse. She wanted me to hold him skin to skin so I did. It didn't help. He was just trying too hard to breathe. She came and took him away again. I was sad about that, but I knew he would be safer in the nursery where there would be a nurse in there to look after him at all times. I figured he'd come back to our room shortly.
Joe was staying at the hospital with us that night. It would be good for him to help me care for Jason while the nurses took care of Connor. Jason did not seem to be having any troubles...yet. Later that night when we tried to feed him a second bottle we noticed that everything he drank began to pour right out of his nose. We called the nurse in and she took one look at him, told us she didn't like his color, and took him away from us too! I couldn't believe that both babies had been taken away. Joe went to the nursery to talk to the doctors and nurses. When he came back he explained to me that both babies were having a hard time breathing and that they would keep them in the nursery for at least 2 days. I got so upset! 2 days? How could I be away from them for 2 days? Ha! If only I knew what we would be facing I would have rejoiced that it would only be 2 days! They ended up putting Connor on oxygen that night.
The next day was pretty uneventful. The babies stayed in the nursery. I was finally allowed to sit up to go in a wheelchair to visit them. It was sad, but it wasn't horrible. I was sure that after a couple days in there they would both be just fine. They told us that they noticed Jason had a crooked mouth- that one side of it seemed to droop a bit. They told us not to worry too much about this. They did the ultrasound of his head and guess what?! His ventricles were perfect! All that worry during the pregnancy was for nothing! Whew!! Connor remained on oxygen- they put him under an oxygen hood. To make Jason a little more comfortable they began to give him a very small amount of oxygen through a nasal cannula. We had more visitors.
Joe decided to sleep at home that night so that Logan could be at his own house. Mom did not want me to be by myself so she decided she would sleep at the hospital. Mom brought us subs to eat and we were going to eat, talk and relax. Sara and Mike came to visit and we all sat around talking. Although I was concerned about the babies it was nice to relax. Again, I was certain that in the next day or so I would be going home with my babies. After Sara and Mike left Mom and I decided to go visit the babies again. They were on opposite sides of the room so Mom and I took turns going back and forth between them. It was a great visit! We decided to let the babies rest so we went back to my room. We had just gotten settled when I got one of the worst phone calls I have ever recieved. It was a doctor from in the nursery. She explained that they had Connor's oxygen turned up as high as it could go and he was still having a hard time breathing. She told me that they just did not have the equipment to care for such a sick baby and that as soon as they could find a level 3 NICU they were going to transfer both babies. My world came crashing down. I was so scared. She told me that they were only transferring Jason so that they wouldn't have to separate the twins. She said that as soon as she found a NICU with space she would let me know. They finally found room for them at Mercy Medical Center in Baltimore. They said the transport team would arrive shortly to take them. It was about 3:00 in the morning. I called Joe sobbing. I also told my doctor that I needed to be discharged immediately because I couldn't let my babies leave without me. Keep in mind that I had just had a c-section the day before. My doctor said that she understood my need to leave, but that I should sleep for the night and she would come in first thing in the morning to sign me out. Did she really think I'd be able to sleep?! She said it would take a while for them to get the babies settled in, so I thought I should give them their space so they could do it right. I agreed to stay for a few more hours until daybreak. Dad and Joe came first thing in the morning so we could go see our babies. Thank God for Joe- he is my rock. I also have to Thank God for my parents- they were there for us during this entire journey.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Time to meet the babies...
I continued to go for ultrasounds and non-stress tests to monitor the babies. I had to go for the NST's twice a week. Sometimes both babies would cooperate and I'd be out of there very quickly and sometimes one or the other would be lazy and I'd have to wait around for them to pass the test. I was getting so big! I really wasn't as uncomfortable as people would have thought. The worst part was the swelling in my ankles, it was so ugly! Mom and Dad decided to go vacation when I was 35-37 weeks pregnant. I told them that if they wanted to be here when the babies were born then they were crazy to go on vacation at that time. They went, but came home early because they were too nervous to miss the birth. After all, I had Logan at 37 weeks and this time I was having twins! My blood pressure had started to creep up and I was certain they wouldn't let me go much further. My original due date was October 20, 2008. I had a c-section scheduled for October 7,2008- I would have been 38 weeks pregnant. My doctor's were not comfortable letting me go past 38 weeks due to the fact that I was having twins plus because of my emergency c-section with Logan.
When I was 36 weeks 2 days pregnant I had to go for a regular doctor's appointment. Mom decided to go with me and then we would go out to eat. Dad dropped us off and waited for us. When I went for my appointment my bp was high so they sent me over for a NST and to monitor my bp. I had been through this several times and every time my bp would come down and they would send me home. This time my bp would not come down. We waited and waited and nothing would change. My doctor came in and told us she thought it was time to admit me. Mom called Dad to tell him to come back to the hospital and I called Joe. The doctor told us that my bp was not so high that I had to deliver immediately so if we would rather wait and do it the next day after everyone got some rest that would be fine. We decided to do that for two reasons: 1. we wanted the doctors to be well rested 2. the next day was Joe's grandfather's birthday.
When I was 36 weeks 2 days pregnant I had to go for a regular doctor's appointment. Mom decided to go with me and then we would go out to eat. Dad dropped us off and waited for us. When I went for my appointment my bp was high so they sent me over for a NST and to monitor my bp. I had been through this several times and every time my bp would come down and they would send me home. This time my bp would not come down. We waited and waited and nothing would change. My doctor came in and told us she thought it was time to admit me. Mom called Dad to tell him to come back to the hospital and I called Joe. The doctor told us that my bp was not so high that I had to deliver immediately so if we would rather wait and do it the next day after everyone got some rest that would be fine. We decided to do that for two reasons: 1. we wanted the doctors to be well rested 2. the next day was Joe's grandfather's birthday.
And the worry begins...
Because of carrying multiples I had to go for ultrasounds once a month. I honestly can't remember exactly which ultrasound it was, but at some point I went for an ultrasound and they told me that they would need to keep an eye on "Baby A's" kidneys. They explained that this could be an issue that would resolve on it's own, but that if it didn't he may require surgery after he was born to fix them. A friend of mine had just been through this with her baby and while it was scary, I knew it wasn't the end of the world. I thought "as long as that's the only thing that's wrong then we'll be just fine." Oh how I wish that had been the only problem...
At the next ultrasound they told me that the issue with the kidneys had already resolved itself so we no longer would need to worry about that. Yay! Then she went on to take the other measurements and the worry intensified. You could tell that something wasn't right, but of course the ultrasound techs are not allowed to tell you anything, so in comes the doctor. I began to panic. They explained to us that "Baby A- Jason" had something called ventriculomegaly. Basiclly it is fluid in the ventricles in the brain. Of course I immediately thought the worst. They explained that we would have to monitor him carefully and it was just a waiting game to see if things improved. They sent us to a genetics specialist so she could explain what could be caused from this. We were told that we would be facing one of the following:
- nothing (everything could be just fine)
- Down's Syndrome (not what I wanted, but I could deal with that)
- Many other types of genetics diseases that I had never heard of
- Death
Okay, so basically we don't know anything. I went for so many ultrasounds! I loved them because I got to see the babies, but I hated them because they made me so nervous! At each one they would take measurements of both babies. Connor never gave us reason to worry, he always looked great. Jason's ventricles continued to cause us concern. Every time we went for an ultrasound they would tell us that we are having big babies! Jason's head was measuring very large which was also a cause for concern. All we could do was wait and hope and pray that once they were born we would find out that all the worry was for nothing. They would do an ultrasound of Jason's head once he was born to make sure the ventricles were the size they should be.
Our first ultrasound
The beginning of my pregnancy was very uneventful, just like when I was pregnant with Logan. I didn't really experience any symptoms with Logan. With the twins I had slight morning sickness that didn't last long at all. The only difference was that with the twins I was exhausted all the time! I don't know if that was more due to the fact that I was carrying twins or if it was because I was chasing around a 2 year old! Logan sure does have some energy!
All of my doctors appointments were going very well. Finally, at 20 weeks I got to have my big ultrasound! We couldn't wait to see if we would have boys, girls, or one of each! The tech measured Baby B first because he was more cooperative (at the time!). She asked if we wanted to know the gender because she had a clear shot. We did, so she said "it's a boy!" I was thrilled! I really wanted Logan to have at least 1 little brother. I looked at Joe and said "that will be Connor Joseph." We had already decided on 2 boys names, but were unsure of girls names. When she finished up Connor's measurements she moved on to Baby A. Again, she told us she had a clear shot so asked if we were ready to know the gender. Of course we said yes. "It's....another boy!" Joe's first response was "boy I feel sorry for you, I'll have to buy you a big bottle of Advil!" While there was a part of me that had hoped one of them would be a girl I was still thrilled with this news. As you already know, Baby A then became "Jason Lane."
All of my doctors appointments were going very well. Finally, at 20 weeks I got to have my big ultrasound! We couldn't wait to see if we would have boys, girls, or one of each! The tech measured Baby B first because he was more cooperative (at the time!). She asked if we wanted to know the gender because she had a clear shot. We did, so she said "it's a boy!" I was thrilled! I really wanted Logan to have at least 1 little brother. I looked at Joe and said "that will be Connor Joseph." We had already decided on 2 boys names, but were unsure of girls names. When she finished up Connor's measurements she moved on to Baby A. Again, she told us she had a clear shot so asked if we were ready to know the gender. Of course we said yes. "It's....another boy!" Joe's first response was "boy I feel sorry for you, I'll have to buy you a big bottle of Advil!" While there was a part of me that had hoped one of them would be a girl I was still thrilled with this news. As you already know, Baby A then became "Jason Lane."
Double Trouble
I'll never forget the day that I started thinking we were having twins. Because I had been taking fertility medicine I had to have a blood test from the doctor to confirm the pregnancy. I went and had the bloodwork done and then I went to Babies R Us with Mom, Dad and Kim. While we were in Babies R Us I called the doctor to get the results. The nurse said, "congratulations, you're pregnant."I was already certain that I was, but it was still nice to hear the confirmation. I asked her what the next step was and she said that in a couple of weeks I would have to have an ultrasound. I asked her if my numbers looked good from the bloodwork and she said, "oh yeah, they're REALLY good!" I hung up and then started thinking "I wonder what she meant by that!" I started telling Kim and my parents that I thought we would have twins. I think they thought I was nuts. I knew that if your numbers were high that could indicate multiples. Kim had her blackberry with her so she started researching (that's Kim for you!) She wanted to know exactly what my numbers were, but I hadn't thought to ask the nurse! I called back and said "when I was on the phone earlier you told me my numbers were really good, what exactly were the numbers?" She told me (I can't remember what they were, but I know they were high). I said "doesn't that indicate multiples?!" She laughed and said "yes it could, but it could also just indicate that you have a very healthy pregnancy." She also told me that because of the high numbers that's why they wanted me to come in soon for an ultrasound.
I couldn't wait to tell Joe! When I got home I told him of the possiblilty of twins. He said he didn't think we'd have twins. I already knew in my heart that we were having twins. I told him he better prepare himself! He said that while he only ever wanted two kids it would be okay if we had twins. The wait for the ultrasound was almost unbearable! Everyday Joe and I would talk about it!
On February 25, 2008 (Mom's birthday) we went for our ultrasound. We joked about the possiblities on the way there. As soon as Dr. Padilla started the ultrasound we hear him say "uh oh!" We looked at each other and said "uh oh, what?!" His exact response was "uh oh, I see two heartbeats!" I was exstatic! Joe's response was "we can't even agree on one name, how are we supposed to pick two?!" I couldn't help but laugh at him! Dr. Padilla assured us that both heartbeats were very strong and we got to see them on the screen! Oh the conversations we had on the way home! We were excited, nervous, worried, thrilled... all of the emotions you can imagine! I called everyone and said "the ultrasound went very well, the heartbeats were very strong." Most people's reactions were "did you say heartbeatS, with an S???" I said, "yep, we're having twins!"
And so the journey begins...
I couldn't wait to tell Joe! When I got home I told him of the possiblilty of twins. He said he didn't think we'd have twins. I already knew in my heart that we were having twins. I told him he better prepare himself! He said that while he only ever wanted two kids it would be okay if we had twins. The wait for the ultrasound was almost unbearable! Everyday Joe and I would talk about it!
On February 25, 2008 (Mom's birthday) we went for our ultrasound. We joked about the possiblities on the way there. As soon as Dr. Padilla started the ultrasound we hear him say "uh oh!" We looked at each other and said "uh oh, what?!" His exact response was "uh oh, I see two heartbeats!" I was exstatic! Joe's response was "we can't even agree on one name, how are we supposed to pick two?!" I couldn't help but laugh at him! Dr. Padilla assured us that both heartbeats were very strong and we got to see them on the screen! Oh the conversations we had on the way home! We were excited, nervous, worried, thrilled... all of the emotions you can imagine! I called everyone and said "the ultrasound went very well, the heartbeats were very strong." Most people's reactions were "did you say heartbeatS, with an S???" I said, "yep, we're having twins!"
And so the journey begins...
I'm pregnant!
On February 14, 2008 we found out we would be adding to our little family of three.We were so excited! When I took the home test Joe didn't believe it to be accurate so he told me to go to WalMart and buy the kind that tells you clearly with words! I bought the new test and with no surprise to me it came back positive as well. We were excited beyond words. I called Mom, Dad, and Kim and said "Happy Valentine's Day from me, Joe, and the kids." Everyone said, "um, kids?" and I said, "that's right, I'm pregnant!" Everyone knew that we had been trying and that we were again going through fertility treatments. Nobody thought it would happen so quickly for us this time. After all, it had taken us close to 3 years to get pregnant with Logan and this time we had only been trying for a few months!
Starting a blog
After spending a lot of time on the computer and seeing other people's blogs I regret that I did not start one when the twins were born. I realize now that it would have been the most effective way to keep everyone posted. I am going to attempt to go back through the past year and write about as much as I can so I will always have this to look back on.
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