Introducing Jason Lane and Connor Joseph

On September 25, 2008 when I was 36 weeks 3 days pregnant our beautiful babies made their debut. Jason Lane was born at 12:03 pm weighing in at 7 pounds 3 ounces and 18.5 inches long. Connor Joseph was born at 12:05 pm weighing in at 5 pounds 12 ounces and 18 inches long. We were so happy! They both came out screaming and had great APGAR scores! After a while they took us all back to our room. We had many visitors and things were going great....at first. This is where it gets very hard and I get emotional just thinking back to this time. What was supposed to be one of the happiest times of our lives turned out to be one of the most difficult times instead.

The good news was that Jason appeared to be okay. They would still have to do the ultrasound of his head, but he was alive and did not appear to have any markers for any of the genetics disorders they had warned us about.

The bad news was actually about Connor. Here we had spent all this time worrying about Jason and knowing that Connor would be just fine. Little did we know that he would have so much trouble breathing. He kept making these little squeaking sounds that we thought sounded cute, but when the nurse heard him she didn't like the way he sounded so she took him to the nursery. I only just met him, how could she be taking him away from me? They did some xrays and said he looked good, so they brought him back to us. What a relief! Or so I thought... not too long after he was back he started acting funny again so we called the nurse. She wanted me to hold him skin to skin so I did. It didn't help. He was just trying too hard to breathe. She came and took him away again. I was sad about that, but I knew he would be safer in the nursery where there would be a nurse in there to look after him at all times. I figured he'd come back to our room shortly.

Joe was staying at the hospital with us that night. It would be good for him to help me care for Jason while the nurses took care of Connor. Jason did not seem to be having any troubles...yet. Later that night when we tried to feed him a second bottle we noticed that everything he drank began to pour right out of his nose. We called the nurse in and she took one look at him, told us she didn't like his color, and took him away from us too! I couldn't believe that both babies had been taken away. Joe went to the nursery to talk to the doctors and nurses. When he came back he explained to me that both babies were having a hard time breathing and that they would keep them in the nursery for at least 2 days. I got so upset! 2 days? How could I be away from them for 2 days? Ha! If only I knew what we would be facing I would have rejoiced that it would only be 2 days! They ended up putting Connor on oxygen that night.

The next day was pretty uneventful. The babies stayed in the nursery. I was finally allowed to sit up to go in a wheelchair to visit them. It was sad, but it wasn't horrible. I was sure that after a couple days in there they would both be just fine. They told us that they noticed Jason had a crooked mouth- that one side of it seemed to droop a bit. They told us not to worry too much about this. They did the ultrasound of his head and guess what?! His ventricles were perfect! All that worry during the pregnancy was for nothing! Whew!! Connor remained on oxygen- they put him under an oxygen hood. To make Jason a little more comfortable they began to give him a very small amount of oxygen through a nasal cannula. We had more visitors.

Joe decided to sleep at home that night so that Logan could be at his own house. Mom did not want me to be by myself so she decided she would sleep at the hospital. Mom brought us subs to eat and we were going to eat, talk and relax. Sara and Mike came to visit and we all sat around talking. Although I was concerned about the babies it was nice to relax. Again, I was certain that in the next day or so I would be going home with my babies. After Sara and Mike left Mom and I decided to go visit the babies again. They were on opposite sides of the room so Mom and I took turns going back and forth between them. It was a great visit! We decided to let the babies rest so we went back to my room. We had just gotten settled when I got one of the worst phone calls I have ever recieved. It was a doctor from in the nursery. She explained that they had Connor's oxygen turned up as high as it could go and he was still having a hard time breathing. She told me that they just did not have the equipment to care for such a sick baby and that as soon as they could find a level 3 NICU they were going to transfer both babies. My world came crashing down. I was so scared. She told me that they were only transferring Jason so that they wouldn't have to separate the twins. She said that as soon as she found a NICU with space she would let me know. They finally found room for them at Mercy Medical Center in Baltimore. They said the transport team would arrive shortly to take them. It was about 3:00 in the morning. I called Joe sobbing. I also told my doctor that I needed to be discharged immediately because I couldn't let my babies leave without me. Keep in mind that I had just had a c-section the day before. My doctor said that she understood my need to leave, but that I should sleep for the night and she would come in first thing in the morning to sign me out. Did she really think I'd be able to sleep?! She said it would take a while for them to get the babies settled in, so I thought I should give them their space so they could do it right. I agreed to stay for a few more hours until daybreak. Dad and Joe came first thing in the morning so we could go see our babies. Thank God for Joe- he is my rock. I also have to Thank God for my parents- they were there for us during this entire journey.